March 19, 2022 Update

 Friends, family, kind strangers – today is day 24 of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.

I apologize that I haven’t written to you more over the past three weeks, but honestly, I struggle to put this experience into written form. First I need to say thank you a million times over for the prayers, donations, encouragements, sharing, and more. You have stepped up as an incredible support system in a time I needed it most.

I'm not going to try to summarize the past 24 days here, but there are a few insights I want to share with you.

In the early days of the war, I didn’t know exactly how I was supposed to act. In some moments I was calm, in others I felt real fear. Today I find myself adjusting to the new way of life. We remain alert, while we try to give our bodies and minds rest. I haven’t really slept well in weeks.

Being a single woman in wartime means that I’m making many big decisions alone right now. The responsibility of whether I stay or leave, what to have packed just in case, and how to process this experience is on me and the relationship I hold with Holy Spirit. Of course, I have incredible trusted mentors speaking into these decisions and I lean heavily on their wisdom. But in the middle of the night when the sirens sound, it’s on me to get up, grab what I need, and head down to the basement.

I have more “followers” in my life than ever, more people praying than ever, and more messages coming through – but this war and the uncertainty around it have brought me into some of the deepest moments of loneliness I’ve known. My heart feels broken in new ways and hope is something that takes work.

But as my body and emotions react to the stress and sorrow around me, my spirit digs deep into the foundation of my faith. A foundation God has been building with me my whole life, but so intentionally over the past 5 years. There are countless moments I can go back to and point out God’s faithfulness in preparing me for my current reality.

I think about the years of logistics work that now serve me as I coordinate for IDPs (internally displaced people) and refugees. I think back to my first time in Ukraine when Clinton White made sure I understood the rich history of this country and her fight for sovereignty. I think of the people who slowly showed up in my life over the years and now serve as my advisory board. I think about how I decided to partner with The Cause as my giving platform last fall and how pivotal they have been in receiving your generous donations and getting them to me quickly to meet the immediate needs around me. I think about the past heartbreaks that have taught me how to cope and give testimony for the healing on the other side.

Nothing has been wasted. So I trust that even war doesn’t go wasted.

I don’t stay here because I’m making some monumental impact. I could leave and the needs would be met, I know that. I stay as an act of faith. Faith that God hasn’t forgotten about this land and her people. Faith that I was called here just weeks before this madness for a reason. Faith that holding one child for a few hours each afternoon matters. 

Every day we ask how much longer could this possibly continue. It’s been a few days since I’ve actually cried, but at any given moment it feels like a real possibility. We aren’t okay, but at the same time, we weirdly are in fact okay.

Your donations have allowed us to provide…

• supplement food and resources to two local orphanages.

• groceries and supplies to an IDP intake center.

• groceries and supplies for at-risk families in our community.

• a place of rest to those traveling through our city as they evacuate their homes.

• bulletproof vests for our local civilian defense legion. 

• travel funds for refugees.

• medicine for people stuck in Kyiv. 

• mattresses for a local IDP shelter. 

Your donations also support me as an independent missionary and my life here in Ukraine. On Feb. 26th I made the decision to quit/step back from my remote jobs that were previously my primary livelihood support. 

There are many stories to tell, and in time we will tell them. Tonight I try to rest and resist the fear that often surrounds the night. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am trying to do frequent updates on my Instagram, so be sure to follow along there. 

with love,
Lina